Monday, March 25, 2013


Leeteuk was moving to Sora's apartment a week after Sora's discharged from hospital. He needs to be next to her. After Doctors made her sleep for three days, finally Sora awake. She stayed at the Intensive Care Unit for a week then spent four more days at the regular room. Leeteuk was with her when the Doctor told her about her real condition. Sora seems so strong when heard about it, she didn't cry, just squezze his hands harder. She didn't look nervous. For the first week, he never saw Sora cried, that made him worried about her. But last night, finally he saw her tears, last night finally he can heard and feel what his other half felt.

Leeteuk back to the army base to take care something right after Sora out from hospital. Leeteuk came to see his commander, begging for to asked something. Sora was in her apartment with her mother. She refused to stay at her parents house. She even insisted back to work. She said this is the best way to tell public that she was fine and nothing to worried after the accident.

(***flashback, Leeteuk army base***)

"Thank you for accepted me Sir." Leeteuk salute his Commander and bowed to him
"That's oke Jung Su. What's going on? How's your wife condition? Is she fine?" His Commander asked him
"Sir, there's something I want to asked. Can I stay at my own home? I mean, If it is possible, I want to stay next to her. I will come early in the morning and back home when I am finishing my duty. If this department rules and regulation not allow me to do that, Can I asked to move to another department, maybe at Public Service,like my members Heechul? So I can back home everyday? " Leeteuk a little bit hasitated when asking this to his supervisor
"Can I know what is the reason Park Jung Su?" His Commander asked him in serious tone
"Honestly Sir, her physical condition much better now, but not with mental condition. Because of the accident, she only have 30 percent possibility to have a child. The things that made me worried is she never cried since the Doctor told her about her real condition, that's not normal. For me, better if she cried a lot to me or to her parents, than she just keep calm and acted like nothing happend. She even started her daily job two days ago, that's why I thought I really stand next to her everyday. I hope you can understand me Sir." Leeteuk explained the situation
"I got it Jung Su. I have to bring this issue to the higher level, so I'll give it the answer to you soon as possible." his Commander told him
"Thank you so much Sir. I really appreciate." He bowed to his Commander

Two days after he talked to his Commander, the army gave him a permission as he wish, but they asked he can not shown up to public very often. This is not only for Leeteuk image, but also for the shake of the army itself.

(***Sora's apartment***)

"Morning Oppa, it's 6 o clock, don't you have to go to work?" Sora tried to waking up Leeteuk
"Six o clock already Princess? I hope today is weekend, so I don't have to go" Leeteuk didn't want to leave her after what he heard last night
"Aish, you should wake up Oppa. I am starting shooting today. I hope I already at home when you come from work." Sora smiled
"Are you happy Princess? Back to work again?" Leeteuk voice turned to be serious 
"Yes Oppa, I am so excited. I'll prove to everyone that I am oke, I am strong." Sora smiled again. She know when she start shooting she will forget her pain. She will be very busy and didn't have a time to think about her real condition
"I am happy when you're happy darling. Indeed.." Leeteuk smile
"Thank you Oppa, for supporting and understanding me. Now, wake up big boy. Time for you to go to the office." Sora pulled up her husband from bed to wake up
"Oke, I am wake, but please, where is my morning kiss?" Leeteuk tried to seduce his wife. He feel that Sora's mood is better this morning. He really miss to see true sight of her. He miss her smile, he miss her spirit, he miss her kiss, her touch, he miss everything in her.
"Oppa.. what are you doing?" suddenly Sora feels shy
"Just a one light morning kiss darling?" Leeteuk gave her his innocent face
"Ah Oppa.." 

Sora finally give up and give him a light kiss in his lips. Leeteuk hold her face and light kiss turned to be a passionate kiss. Sora was respond it and that made Leeteuk very happy. He didn't want to loose the moment. He kiss her deeply, and his hand start to explore Sora's body. Sora moaned between their kiss.  Leeteuk lost his mind, he started to kiss Sora's neck and explore her shoulder, then back to kiss her lips intimately. He slide his tongue to hers and deep his kiss while his hand still exploring his wife beautiful body. Sora moans again and that made Leeteuk lost control. He puts Sora in bed again, and slip his hand under her shirt and cup her breast. He play with her nipple while kissed her deeply. He really hunger for her kiss and her touch. He missed this woman a lot. He need her. 

Suddenly her phone was rang, and it bring her back to reality. She pulled out herself and immediately tidy up her shirt

"Oppa, you'll be late, just wake." She told him, take her phone and out of the bed room
"Sorry darling, I am pushing you, I just miss you a lot." Leeteuk told to himself right after Sora get out from bed room "I think I need cold water now." he said while walking to bath room

It's been a week, Sora was busy with his shooting activity. She always back home late. Leeteuk have to wait for her, sometimes until midnight. He tried to understand that she need a space to bring her confidence as an artist and as a woman.

But today, he really missed her. They only met each other around 30 minutes when Leeteuk preparing himself before worked. Sora still doing her role as a good wife, but since the passionate morning kiss moment, Sora changed and made a distance again. Leeteuk feel that she tried to hide something. He knew that she's not ready for their intimate move or something, but he sure there's something else.

"Sora-ya, where are you?" Leeteuk called her when he waited his other half at house. It's 10 pm and she's not come back yet
"I am on my way, just wait for me oke." She answered it, but there's hesitated tone in her answered
"Oke, what time you'll come?" he feel it. He can felt that tone
"Ehm, in 10 minutes?" Sora answered
"Oke, I'll be waiting for you." Leeteuk told her

There's something in her voice. She even don't call him Oppa, she just answered his question. He decided to wait for her down stairs. He need a fresh air also. He trust Sora, especially after what Sora said last week, but in the other hand, once again he feels insecure. He can feel there's something, he didn't know what is that, but he's sure there's something.

Five minutes later, when he just finished walking around, he saw her. Sora was get off form unusual car. That was not her company car, that was another car and someone was there. Leeteuk tried to see him clearly and he was so surprised, he is Sora's partner in her movie, Lee Hyun Jin. Hyun Jin also Sora's partner in one of music video. He saw how he tried to hold her hand, but she refused it. She get off immediately when arrive and smile to him from outside. Leeteuk really freezing to see the scene right in front of his eyes. He don't know how to react. He believe in her, but he really feel burning that time. He hold himself not to show up and beat Hyun Jin. Right after saying thank you, Sora run into her apartment. Leeteuk wait until his car was gone, then come to their apartment.

"Oppa? Is that you?" Sora was looking at him whe she heard the door opened
"Did you expect anyone else than me Sora-ya?" Leeteuk cannot hold his jealousy
"Oppa.. Why were you say that??" Sora still didn't understand why Leeteuk was angry. She admitted that she was avoiding him after their memorable morning kiss. She was afraid, that it will happened again. She's afraid that they will make love which is she felt that she wasn't ready yet.
"Are you really busy with your movie or busy with your partner in the movie? Seems that you are busy with him, until he have to take you home." Leeteuk told her in his cold and anger tone
"Oppa, did you see him drop me off?" Sora started to feel guilty. She can not said no to Hyun Jin since he asked her since a week ago. Tonight she didn't have a choice.
"Yes, why?? Every time I asked you, can I pick you up? You always said no, Sora-ya. You always said that everyone will know that we are together and it was not good for me and for the army. Is it true? Not good for me or not good for you?? Are you afraid that you will lost your career if everyone knew that we are together??" Leeteuk cannot control himself
"Oppa.. I am sorry.." Sora cannot said anything else. She knew how hurt her husband is. She really feel guilty to him. She avoided him, she refused and pulled his out, but he still care and wait for her. He still take care of her. She still can see a lot of love in him. She didn't realize that she start cry "Oppa, I am really sorry. This is not like what you're thinking." She told him
"Up to you Sora-ya. I think I need fresh air." Leeteuk told her while step out from their apartment. 

He really need a fresh air. He can't control himself, he feel guilty for yelling and angry at her. He believe in her, but he didn't like seeing other man close to her. He can feel that Hyun Jin like her. He can see from the way he looked at her. Sora was in the middle of her dilemma period, he really feel insecure. He was really afraid that Sora will be affected by him.
"I am sorry Sora-ya. I didn't want to loose you. I can not live without you." He talked to himself while coming back to their apartment 30 minutes later.

He was looking for her, right after he came back. He thought that he have to say sorry to Sora. He found her sleeping already, there is a trace of tears on hers. He felt really sorry, seems Sora fell a sleep when she was crying

"Princess, I am sorry. I didn't mean it darling.." He keeps whispering on her ears while holding her tight
"You know Princess, you know that I'm always parallel on the other side of you. I promise you that no one else beside you. Just stay with me. Hang in there with me. I promise you darling, we will face everything together. Just stay, please be strong Sora-ya, I love you so much." He keep whispering in her ears. 

"Oppa.. I am sorry.. I didn't mean it. I love you and always do Oppa.. I love you..indeed.." Sora was talking in her sleep
"Ssst.. I know darling.. I know.. I love you too, just sleep darling.. I know you are tired, just sleep my Baby Princess. I love you and I promise you I won't let you down." Leeteuk tried to comfort and calm her by talking to her then kiss her forehead.  

"Morning Baby Princess. It's seven o clock. Wake up." Leeteuk tried to wake her up after the misunderstanding between them last night
"Oppa? What time is it?" Sora seems sorry because Leeteuk woke up before her
"It's seven darling and it's Friday. I already prepared a breakfast for you. I have to go now. I think you are so tired, you sleep without changing darling. That's why I let you sleep. Just sleep again. I have to go. See u tonight." Leeteuk told her then kiss her forehead before he go
"Oppa.. about last night. I am sorry." She hold his hand prevent him to go
"Ssst, that's oke. That was only misunderstanding darling. I am sorry too for yelling and angry to you." Leeteuk smiled
"Thank you Oppa, thank you for understand me." she smiled "Now, let me accompanied you outside. Wait, give me 5 minutes." 

Leeteuk a little bit weird about Sora's action, but he's happy

"What do you want to eat today Oppa? I am off today.I'll make everything that you asked." She smiled again
"Really? Wow.. Everything darling. I'll come home earlier today. You're at home right?I'll be here at 5. I am going, I'll get punishment if I am late." Leeteuk smiled when he's heading to his work place. He really happy to see Sora changed little by little. She started return to the old Sora

Right after Leeteuk gone, Sora called someone

"Hallo.. It's me Kang Sora." Sora talked to someone at phone
"Ah Mrs Park, what's wrong?" said mysterious one
"Is everything ready? Can I take it today?" Sora was hesitated
"Yes Mam. everything ready, you just need his signature. After that, I'll take care of everything. Btw, are you sure Mam? Honestly, you didn't seems you are sure with this." this man asked Sora again
"I think I am ready. I'll at your office at 10, just prepare everything." Sora end up the conversation

"Oppa, do you have a plan for this weekend?" She asked him while doing their dinner
"Nope.. Why?? Do you want to go somewhere?" Leeteuk asked her
"Let's go to Namsan. Just have fun there. I miss that place." 
"Sure. wait a minutes." Leeteuk put his dishes and went to bed room while Sora started to clean it up

"Let's go."Leeteuk suddenly came with a bag and ready to go
"Where we gonna go Oppa? And why you bring that bag? Sora a little bit confused
"Just go, C'mon" Leeteuk grab her hand and asked her to go
"Oppa, I have to prepare. Let me change first and prepare everything."
"Nope, everything ready. I already prepare it for you. All is here. You don't have to change darling. You look good now. Just go." Leeteuk insisted
"Oke, wait a minutes." Sora run to their bed room and come out with her bag "Let's go Oppa, I'm ready." She smiled. She was excited also. This is what she always love from her husband. And she will enjoy every second that she share with him this weekend and will keep it in her memories

(***Banyan Tree Club and Spa***)

"Oppa, are you kidding? Why here?" Sora was shocked when she realize that her husband brought her to the first place that they share a night together
"Remember this place right? I already booking an exact room that we used that night. I want to remember it darling. Just relax." He smiled

Right after they came to their room, Sora looked at him

"Do you want to use it Oppa?" She smiled when seeing the big jacuzy in the middle of the room
"Aren't you tired?" Leeteuk a little bit hesitated, he didn't want Sora run away again because  of their intimate
"I think I need it to get relax Oppa. Did you bring my swimsuit or bikini?" She asked him in seducing tone
"Yup, I prepare it darling. It's in the bag." Leeteuk still confused with all Sora action tonight
"Good, let me change first." She smile, took the bikini and went to the bath room. Meanwhile Leeteuk just frozen seeing what her wife doing

Sora just finished preparing herself and walk back to the room with her sexy bikini. She looking up her husband was standing near the open window. She walked at him and suddenly   wrap her thin arms around his waist and rest her weigh on his back

"Oppa.." That's the only word that came from her sexy lips. Leeteuk surprised with her gesture. He touch her hand and turn himself to her.
"Sora-ya.." Leeteuk can not continued his word especially after seeing Sora in her seducing pose. Wearing her bikini, nothing was hide, and seeing her smile on him. Sora slowly wrap her arms around his neck and kiss his lips. Leeteuk was so surprised with her move and lost in their kiss.

"Sora-ya are you sure. I can not promise you that I can hold it. I miss you so much darling.I don't want you to regret it if you are not ready for it." Leeteuk still a little bit hesitated
"Oppa, you talked to much." She told him then start to kiss his neck while her hand open his t-shirt impatiently. She start to kiss his shoulder and explore his body then back to kiss his lips again.

"Is this really you darling?" Leeteuk was really surprised with his wife move. She didn't said a thing only smile and continued to kiss him again. Her hand was keep busy exploring Leeteuk body and finally open his pants. Right after she opened it, she jump a little and wrap her beautiful legs around his waist
"Ready for Jacuzy Oppa?" she smiled and winked to him
"Oh My God Sora, you are really a death of me." Finally without hesitated he brought her to the jacuzy without stopping kiss her lips passionately.

Enjoying playing around in the jacuzy, suddenly Sora pulled herself out and grab Leeteuk hands. Sora took a white big towel as soon as they came out from the jacuzy. She dried Leeteuk body inch by inch, then open up her bikini slowly and dried herself. Leeteuk frozen seeing his other half beautiful naked body in front of him.

"Why were you thinking too much Oppa?? Let me serve you like you serve me before."  

Sora's smile and guide him to bed. She pushing him gently in the bed, and climbed on him. She started kiss his lips intimately. She nibble at his bottom lips and made him to moan in excitement. She continued trailing kisses down and nibbling it. Her hand was exploring Leeteuk body, played with his nipples, while her lips was playing in his neck. 

"Is this oke for you Oppa?" She asked and seduced him
"Sora-ya. I don't know what to say." Leeteuk only can moan with every ecstasy that his wife gave him

She continued her move by playing his nipples with her tongue, while Leeteuk hands was exploring her naked body and gave a pleasure at her. She keeps exploring Leeteuk's body with her mouth.  Leeteuk once again moan in excitement. She really take a lead tonight, Leeteuk seems seeing someone different. 

Suddenly she slowly pulled herself in and start to move. She gave him a deep passionate kiss, and keep moving, while Leeteuk keep moving his hand at her body to gave her a pleasure. 

"Oppa, I think I can't handle it." Sora scream in the middle of their love making, she reach her first climax. 
"Just release it darling, I am fine." He smile and satisfied seeing she sink in her ecstasy. 

Without stopping their move, Leeteuk slowly pulled her underneath him. He started to explore Sora's body and played with her breast and nipple. Their body keep moving following the rhythm of their love making. They shacking the climax together.

"Thank you Sora.. thank you so much.. I love you." He kissed her right after they finished their first love making
"Thanks to you too Oppa. Thank you for complete me." She smiled without realize that her eyes was teary
"Don't cry. It always wonderful and beautiful. Every time we made love, it was beautiful darling. Don't cry please.. I love you." He kisses her tears and smile "Just sleep, I think this week was a tough week for both of us. Just sleep darling." 

They spent the weekend happily together. They went to the restaurant where Leeteuk took her for their first date in WGM, ordered exactly the same food. They disguised themselves and went to Namsan tower. 

They back to the hotel and make love for several time until they were tired. They make love like there's no tomorrow, once again Sora took a lead and Leeteuk let her to do it. They sleep cuddling each other. 

Sunday morning, after their marathon love making, Leeteuk wake up after he realize that Sora was not beside him on bed.

"Sora-ya.. Sora-ya? Where are you darling?" He thought Sora was on the bathroom

After ten minutes, he start worried. He totally wake up and start looking for his Baby Princess

"Sora-ya, Where are you?" He talked to himself, suddenly he saw a note with a big envelope underneath it

"Oppa, thank you for this wonderful weekend. I love it. Oppa, I know you must think that I'm childish or immature, but I can't stand it, we're already broken Oppa, there's no way out. Please just let me go. What we've been through this weekend, I'll keep it as a best memories in my life. You have to let me go Oppa, I am not worth it enough for you. Just found another woman, forget me. Please don't try to find me, just call me if you're ready and already sign all the papers that I leave for you. I am sorry.."

He opened the envelope in a rush and read it quickly

"Stupid girl, What's in her mind when doing this." Leeteuk prepare himself quickly, grab his phone, tried to contact her so many times, but her phone was off. 

He came to their apartment but he can not found Sora's there. Can not find her anywhere, he decided to give her a space and time. He read the paper again and call a number which is written there

"Hallo.." A man answering his phone
"I am Park Jung Su, Kang Sora's husband. Can we meet privately, today? It's emergency." He asked that man
"Sure Sir, where we gonna met?" 
"Meet me at the Paul Bistro. It's on Ritz Carlton apartment complex." He gave a place to that man
"Oke Sir, let's meet at 30 minutes." 
"Oke. I am waiting you there." Leeteuk end up the conversation

"Sora-ya, although you are so hard for trying and begging me to let you go. It won't happened. I am guarentee It won't happend" He talked to himself while seeing a draft of "Divorce Agreement" that Sora left him

(***to be continued***)

Mirrors by Justin Timberlake

by Justin Timberlake

 Aren't you somethin' to admire?
Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'm here tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making
Two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Aren't you somethin', an original
Cause it doesn't seem merely assembled
And I can't help but stare, cause
I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you
You reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I
Would look at us all the time

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'm here tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making
Two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me

I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making
Two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

You are, you are the love of my life [x10]

Baby, you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are

You are, you are the love of my life [x8]

Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do

You are, you are the love of my life [x16]

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


(***Han river side in the gloomy afternoon***)

It's been two weeks since she discharged from the hospital. She already at home now, she even will start to continue her film project tomorrow. Leeteuk is leaving with her now. He got a permission to do the army like public service officer do. He go to the army base early in the morning and come back home right after office hours finished.

Honestly she really thankful to him and that made her more falling to him.. but the other hand, she also feel sorry for him.. sorry because he have to bear to her pain also.


She still remembered word by word that the Doctor told her. She also remembered everything when she found out how her real condition is..

"How're you feeling Kang Sora-ssi?" the Doctor asked her
"I am feeling better Doc, much better. Feel like reborn again." Sora smiled 
"Good, I think you can go back home tomorrow. You don't get head traumatic, but honestly I have to tell your condition." the Doctor a little bit hesitated and take a glance on Leeteuk and Leeteuk only smile and hold Sora's hand tighter
"Oppa, is that something wrong? Everything oke, right Oppa." Sora asked him confusedly
"Sora, listen to me. Everything that you will hear, just trust me. Everything was fine.. I love you whatever it is. I love you and won't let you go. Oke Princess." Leeteuk tried to smile and kiss her lips lightly
"Oppa, something bad happened in me right? Right Doctor?" Sora got more confused
"Ehm, Kang Sora-ssi, because of the accident, you lost your babies. You are 9 weeks of pregnant. Beside that, we also have to take one of your ovarium. The damage ovarium made you bleeding, and you lost a lot of blood because of it. If we're not taken that one, you can die that time, and with your husband permission, we take it." The Doctor tried to explain it delicately
"So, you mean I only have one ovarium now?" Sora still confused. She didn't realize that she squeze Leeteuk hand
"Yes Mam." the Doctor answered her carefully
"Oppa, everything was fine right? Although I only have one ovarium, everything was fine right?" Sora's voice started to tremble
"Everything was fine darling, like I said everything was fine." Leeteuk smiled and kissed her tample
"You're still young Kang Sora-ssi. You will get another twins. Just keep it try. And you are very lucky to have a husband like him. He never leave you, during your crisis period." the Doctor told her and smiled to her
"Thank you Doc." Sora smiled to him

After the Doctor gone, Sora asked her husband about her true condition

"Oppa, is everything really oke?" Sora started to get worry
"Everything just fine Princess. Do you believe me right? When I said everything fine means everything really fine. Got it?" Leeteuk smiled 
"Oppa, thank you. Thank you for being you." She smiled and kiss her other half palm
"Now, take a nap for a while darling. You still need to take a rest." Leeteuk asked her to sleep

When she sleep, Leeteuk father came to see her. Honestly, Sora is a little bit awaken that time, but she still feel sleepy. Something that Leeteuk don't know was she heard the conversation between father and son

"How long did she already sleep?" Mr Park asked his son
"About one hour, why? I am the one who asked her for sleep." Leeteuk feel there's something wrong behind his father question
"I want to tell both of you about something, something realistic actually." Mr Park told him strictly
"What, you can tell me. She still need a rest." Leeteuk started to feel suspicious
"Oke Jung Su. Is it true that she can not have another child because of the accident? I heard that from In Young." His father was straight to the point
"No, It's wrong. She still can. Why?" Leeteuk started to be defensive
"Just honest to yourselves Jung Su. Don't denied it. One thing you have to know, I think you should asked her permission to get another woman. Maybe you don't have to love that woman, but at least you can have a successor. I need a successor Jung Su." His father told him
"Finish Dad? Maybe you have to go now. Don't make me push you to go." Leeteuk hold his anger to her own father
"Jung Su listen, I know she's beautiful, but what the woman means if she can not deliver a baby? Please, open your eyes, this is reality." his father insisted
"Don't make me yelling to you. Just go Dad, before I lost my patience." Leeteuk whispering. He didn't want Sora heard any single words from his father
"Oke, but still, please think about it." his father told him
"My life is none of your business Dad. Just go. I think, I didn't have to show you the exit door." Leeteuk told him 

Suddenly her phone rang, Leeteuk number was show there

"Darling, where are you? I am at home, but you still not here." 
"Oppa, I am just walk near the riverside. I think I need a fresh air." Sora told him to eliminate his worried
"Ah, go home quickly darling, or just stay there, I will pick you up. I miss walking near the Han River with you though." Leeteuk voice is so excited
"I don't think you need to go here Oppa. I am going home now, just wait me at home oke. Btw, what do you want for dinner. I don't have a time to cook today, do you want me to buy something on my way home Oppa?" Sora asked him. 
"Everything that you take, I will eat it happily. Just go home now Sora-ya, I miss you." Leeteuk asked her to come
"Oke Oppa, just wait."

(***Sora's apartment***)

 "Oppa.. this is the food, where're you?" Sora was yelling right after she arrive at their house, but there's no answer. Suddenly Leeteuk came from bathroom, only with his pajamas pants without the shirt. He just finished taking his bath. Looking his Baby Princes preparing food at the table, he can not hold himself not to hold her from the back
"Where have you been. Didn't know that I miss you so much?" Leeteuk told her while starting kissing her neck
"Oppa, stop it. I have to wash myself first." Sora tried to stop her husband
"It's oke, your smell still very good. I love it." Leeteuk still tried to seduce her. 
"Oppa, please..Don't.. I'm tired" Sora refused him and then when to their bedroom and close the door

"Anything Princess. I'll be waiting until you're ready." Leeteuk told to himself

At the bedroom, Sora crying silently. She really sorry to her husband. Leeteuk already do the best things that he can do to make her sure, that everything was fine, nothings change. But, that's not for her.  In this past two weeks, she is avoiding him. Sora really didn't how to act in front of him, especially after she heard the conversation at the hospital that time. She feel that she is not worth enough for her other half. She knew that Leeteuk love her, she love him very much and she knew that actually she can not live without him, but she really need a time to think.

"Sora-ya.. Darling.. Are you oke? Let's have dinner before the food went cold." Leeteuk suddenly came to the room.
"Ah Oppa, I just take a rest for a while. Can you wait for me after I finish taking a bath? But if you hungry, just eat first Oppa." Sora tried to smile for hiding her tears
"It's oke darling. I am waiting for you." Leeteuk smiled. He tried so hard to pretend not seeing that she just cry

Right after finished cleaning the table Sora went to the bedroom, and pretended sleeping. Leeteuk gave her space, by giving a time for her to prepare herself. After 30 minutes, he came to bedroom and placing himself right behind her. He hold her waist tightly and close his eyes

"Oppa, I can't, I'm tired." Sora tried to pulled out herself
"Sst Baby Princess, that's oke, I just want to hugs you. I promise I am doing nothing. Just sleep darling.. Just sleep." Leeteuk tried to comfort her

30 minutes later, Sora found out that Leeteuk already fall a sleep. She looked at his baby face. He's smiling when he sleep, made her fall again and again to him. She hold herself not to kiss him, but she failed. She miss this man so much. She missed his kiss, his touch, everything, but she can't. She can not make love with him when she's not sure with herself. 
Sora played with leeteuk face, She kiss his face, nose, and his tins lips smoothly. Finally she end up with kissing his forehead..

"Oppa, I love you.. I am sorry too, but trust me, I love you so much, no one else." She whispering in her husband ears.
"I didn't mean to push you out. You know Oppa, I need a time to think, I need a space. Everything happen so sudden. I am not ready actually. You know Oppa, If I am acting that I am oke, trust me  that was just an act, I am totally broken. What I have to do Oppa?? I am confused." She didn't realize that she start cried
"You know Oppa, I really want to share what I feel to you, but It will make harder for you. I don't want to do that Oppa. I know you are tired enough for me." She keeps whispering while her hand touching her other half face
"You know what I feel now Oppa? I think you're too good for me. I am nothing for you Oppa and I think I'm not worthy enough for you. What I supposed to do? I don't know with whom I supposed to share this. This is too hard for me." She keep talking and her tears keep going harder
"Please help me Oppa, help me and teach me how to hold my heart. I love you"
"Oppa.. I love you, please understand me, what ever I do, I do it only for the shake of your kindness. I love you." She slowly kiss his lips.. 

Right after she kiss him, she left the bed to the bathroom and that time Leeteuk wake up and remove his tears that he tried so hard to hold..

"Trust me Sora, I love you too, let me help you.." He talked to himself and pretend to sleep again when he heard Sora came back

Meanwhile, Sora feel a little relieve after pouring her little sadness. She didn't expected that Leeteuk heard what she said, but what she feel is truly from the bottom of her heart. She love this man a lot, but she's really in her big dilemma now. The other hand she wants to spent her whole life with him, but the other hand she didn't want him to bear with her pain..

She feel that she needs to do something immediately..

(***to be continued***)

The Video of Sara Bareilles-Hold My Heart

by Sara Bareilles

I never meant to be the one to let you downIf anything, I thought I saw myself going firstI didn't know how to stick aroundHow to see anybody but me be getting hurt
I keep remembering the summer nightAnd the conversation breaking up the moodI didn't want to tell you you were rightLike the season changing, oh, I felt it too
Does anybody knowHow to hold my heartHow to hold my heart?'Cause I don't wanna let goLet go, let go too soon
I want to tell you soBefore the sun goes darkHow to hold my heart'Cause I don't wanna let goLet go, let go of you
I'm not the kind to try to tell you liesBut the truth is you've been hiding from it tooI see the end sneaking in behind your eyesSaying everything no words could ever do
Does anybody knowHow to hold my heartHow to hold my heart?'Cause I don't wanna let goLet go, let go too soon
I want to tell you soBefore the sun goes darkHow to hold my heart'Cause I don't wanna let goLet go, let go of you
Is anybody listening?'Cause I'm cryingIs anybody listening?
Does anybody knowHow to hold my heartHow to hold my heart?'Cause I don't wanna let goLet go, let go too soon
I want to tell you soBefore the sun goes darkHow to hold my heart'Cause I don't wanna let goLet go, let go of you
Does anybody knowHow to hold my heartHow to hold my heart?'Cause I don't wanna let goLet go, let go too soon
I want to tell you soBefore the sun goes darkHow to hold my heart'Cause I don't wanna let go, let go, let goI don't wanna let go, let go of you
I don't wanna let go

Sunday, March 17, 2013


(***Leeteuk Army Base camp ***)

It's been almost three months after he didn't meet his Baby Princess. Tension between North and South Korean made the situation worse. They cut some plan for The Promise performance. All soldiers have to ready when country need them.  Meanwhile, Sora is also busy with her movie promotion and she have a new movie project. It started shooting around a months ago.

Their last meeting was when Sora and his mother came to see Leeteuk performance right after he get out from the hospital because of the fever. That was a beautiful meeting and his mother in law also gave him a lot of foods to maintain his health. He missed her so much as usual. In the middle of tension, it's so hard to keep in touch with Sora. Usually he can contacted Sora everyday from his cellphone, after the show or after the finished their duty, but since the tension getting heat up, the army gave them limited access to outside, including to the family. They blocked the cellular signal, and the only way to keep in touch is from public phone at the base camp. 

This morning, he had a chance to contact Sora after being on waiting list for three days. He love to hear Sora's voice who was so excited talking about her daily life and her shooting planned. 
"Oppa.. I'm so glad finally you can contact me" Sora happily answering his phone this morning
"How're you Princess? I'm sorry I just can contact you today, since cellphone was prohibited and we have to get in the line, this is the only chance for contacting you." Leeteuk said
"That's oke Oppa. I understand, compleatly understand. I hope the situation getting better Oppa. I am worried about you." Sora voice turned to be sad
"I'm fine darling. So, what are you gonna do today? How's the shooting, everything fine right?" Leeteuk tried to distract Sora worries with the question
"Everything was great Oppa. Ths story was great, everything fine. It's the first time I got a big role as an adult in the movie. Wish me luck oke.." Sora voice turn to happy voice again
"Fighting darling.. I know you can do it well. And always be carefull oke. Take care of yourself and don't skip meal. I hope I can call you in one or two days, but if there's something important do not hasitated to call my base. I already give the number to you right?" Leeteuk told her
"Yes Oppa. I know. I already give the number to your Mom and my parents also. Btw Oppa, I have to go, I think my manager is already downstairs. Bye Oppa, take care of yourself too, I miss you, I just hope we can meet soon." Sora told him
"I miss you too and I love you." He said 
"I love you more.." Sora told him right before she hang up the phone.


When lunch time every soldier were gathered in dining room, including Leeteuk and his best friend
"Hyung, something in your mind? You don't look like yourself. Something bothering you?" Yoon Hak asked him
"Nothing Yoon Hak, I don't know, somehow I just feeling uneasy. I don't know why, but I hope there's nothing wrong." Leeteuk also feel weird today. Since morning something bothering him, but he didn't know what is it.
"Take it easy Hyung. The condition made everyone here feeling uneasy.Hope United Nation can fix the problem with the North." Lee Hyun tried to comfort him.
"I hope.." Suddenly Leetuk nudging his glass until it's broken and made a little scar in his palm "Shit, why am I so careless." He said while trying to clean the broken glass.

Suddenly one of his seniors came to the dining room and called out Leeteuk name

"Soldier Park Jung Su, please come to Commander office." his yealing in the middle of the dining room
"Soldier Park Jung Su, salute." Leeteuk gave a greeting to him
"Just follow me to Commander office, there's something really important." He lower his voice so only Leeteuk can hear it

Leeteuk follow him to his commander office. He is getting worried now. 
"What's wrong?? Did I make something wrong?? Are they gonna give me another special task?"he talked to himself


As soon as he came to his Commander office, his Commander asked him to come
"Jung Su. Please wait a moment, there is a phone call from your father in law, but since we have to call you first, so I told him to call here again in 10 minutes. Just wait he will call you soon." His commander said
"Is that something wrong Sir?" Leeteuk got more worried now
"Just wait Jung Su. I think it's better if you talked to him directly." right after his Commander said, the phone rang "It must be him, better you answered it." his Commander told him and leave him at the office

"Hallo.." Leeteuk answered the phone with a big question in his mind
"Jung Su ah, it's me." He heard her mother voice
"Mom? My Commander said Sora's father is the one who called me." Leeteuk felt horrified
"Listen to me Jung Su. Sora got an accident in her shooting location. There's a big lamps fell and hit her. She was unconcious and have to go to surgery room. Just leave the base camp quitely and come here. Don't be panic. According to Sora's father, he already told to your Commander and asked for his permission, at least you can stay beside her for one or two days." His mother told him carefully
"How's she now Mom? Is she gonna be oke? And why her father didn't told me directly now and asked you to talked to me?" Leeteuk lost his voice, he didn't realize that he started crying
"The Doctor asked him to get more blood to her, she lost a lot of blood, she need a blood donor, that's why I was the one who talked to you. I got a call right after Sora's cordy called them. Let's pray she will be oke, now just come here, she will need you a lot." His mother told him
"Thanks Mom, I'll be there soon, just give me a called everytime there's a news about her condition." Leeteuk close the phone slowly, fell to the floor and cried

He didn't realize when his Commander came back to the room

"Jung Su-ah, just go. Just prepare yourself. Take a break for one or two days, or you can told me if you need more time. Your wife needs you. Just go, I already asked a car and driver to take you to the hospital. Your manager and some members will wait for you at the hospital. I already asked Lee Hyun and Yoon Hak to take care of your belonging. Just go now, you are running with the time." his Commander tap his shoulder
"Thank you Sir, thank you so much. I will give you the news about it. Once again thank you." He bow to his Commander and leave the room quickly


Outside the building Hyun Woo and Yoon Hak was ready with his belonging. The car and the driver also ready

"Hyung, take care. I hope there's nothing wrong with Kang Sora-ssi." Hyun Woo told him and hugged him
"Thank you guys. I don't how's her condition. My Mother only told me that she is unconcious. I hope her condition is not severe." Leeteuk tried to be strong but his eyes still teary
"Just go Hyung. She needs you know." Yoon Hak also gave him a warm hug
"Once again thank you again guys, Bye. Please pray for her." He told them before he get into car


On the way to the hospital, his phone was rang. That's from Kang In

"Hyung, where are you? Are you already leave the base camp?" Kang In asked him
"Yes, what's wrong Kang In, There's nothing bad happened right?" Leeteuk got more nervous
"No Hyung, she's already in the right hand, so please not to worry, let's pray she can pass this. I just want to tell you, that Manager Hyung, me, Hyukjae, Sungmin and Donghae are outside the hospital waiting for you. Please take the back door. We already told to the hospital management to open the back door so you won't draw attention from public. Right now a lot of journalist are here, the news about Hyungsunim accident already spread out. All of them is curious with her condition." Kang In tried to calm Leeteuk
"Oke, I'll be there at ten minutes. I used a mask and will take a back door, just wait for me." Leeteuk end up the conversation and begged the driver "Sorry Sir, can you make it faster. I have to arrive there as soon as possible." 

(***Seoul National University Hospital***)

"Hyung, this way.." Kang In told him right after Leeteuk step down from the car
"Guys, please take care of my belongings and everything, I wanna come inside soon" Leeteuk told his other memebers while running inside with Kang In

Right after he arrived in front of Surgery Room, he saw his mom, hugging Sora's mother who was crying in her shoulder, his sisters who just cry and pray, Sora's father who just keep silent, Sora's manager and cordy and some of the film crew and the producers.

"Jung su-ah." Sora's father looks so relieve after he saw Leeteuk
"Father, what's exactly going on? What's wrong. I still talked to her this morning, she seems fine and happy." Leeteuk nervously asked him
"It was happened in the shooting location. I don't know how exactly this happened, but Lee Young called us and cried. As soon as possible we came here and found Sora unconcious in Emergency Room and lost a lot of blood." Her father told him
"So how come it can be happened?" Leeteuk still can not believe that his other half now in a serious condition and battling for her life.
"I am sorry Leeteuk-ssi. We're the one who should blame for this accident. The staff didn't place the big lamp very well, so when it fell down, Kang Sora-ssi was right under it. It broke and befalled to her head, meanwhile iron gallow fell to her body." The film producer tried to give him an explanation
"So, you are the one who made my wife like this??? I am sure I will sue you guys, if there is something bad in her. Trust me, I will do that." Leeteuk told him in anger
"We will fully responsible for this accident Leeteuk-sii. We're gonna take care of the cost and everything." The producer tried to calm him
"What??? Do you think it can be paid with all of your money?? I don't need your money, I can take care of my wife by myself." Leeteuk was still angry and yealing at him
"Hyung, calm down, just pray for her. Please.." Kang In tried to calm him
"How can I calm down if I know Sora is suffering now?" Leeteuk still yealing while cry
"Hyung, this is hospital, please calm down. We are very sad also.. Let's hope there is nothing wrong with her." Eunhyuk also tried to calm him, while Leeteuk only can cried and fell down to the floor


Suddenly the doctor came from the surgery room

"Who's the one who responsible for Kang Sora-ssi? I need a permission to do certain action to the patient." the Doctor asked every one there
"I am.. I am the one who responsible for her. I am her husband." Leeteuk told him and hurried get up from the floor and tried to remove his tears
"So you are her husband? Good, can you follow me inside." the doctor asked him and bring him inside the surgery room

"What's do you want me to call you, Leeteuk-ssi or??" the doctor asked him
"Call me Jung Su. I am Park Jung Su." Leeteuk told him
"Oke Jung Su-ssi, here is the situation. The iron gallow which is fell down to her body, suddenly fell right on her stomach. And it was hit her ovarium, and she also lost the baby. So frankly speaking, I have to take one of her ovarium now, and it needs your permission ofcourse as her husband. What the effect of this, I will tell you latter, after the surgery, honestly that is not a good one, but this is something that you have to decide as soon as possible to stop her bleeding. She lost a lot of blood because of this. We already gave her  blood transfusions, but the bleeding isn't stop, except we take that damage ovarium. So, how is it?" the doctor asked him
"Please do what ever you think the best for her. As long as she survive and still beside me, I'll take all risk. What I need is just save her, don't let her go." Leeteuk told him while crying
"Oke Jung Su-ssi, we will do the best for her. We can talked after the surgery. Now, you have to sign the letter first, then wait outside. I promise you, We will do the best we can to save her." the doctor told him and tap his shoulder
"Thank you Doc, I appreciate it. Please save her, that's the only things that I beg to you." Leeteuk told him and go back to waiting room.


After waiting for two hours, the surgery finished and the doctor said Sora's is in stable condition. They brought her to Intensive Care Unit to take care of her more carefully. Right after Sora was placed in the room, the doctor came and told Leeteuk to follow him to his room

"Jung Su-ssi, can you come with me? There's a lot of things that I have to tell you about your wife condition." He asked him
"Oke Sir." Leeteuk then follow him to his room, meanwhile all of the family members, his members and others were waiting outside the Intensive Unit

"Please sit down Jung Su-ssi. This is my colleague, he's a neurologist, meanwhile I am the Obsgyn Specialist. So, this is the condition Jung Su-ssi. Did you know that your wife was pregnant?" He asked Leeteuk
"Pregnant? Really? How long?" Leeteuk was shocked with the news
"9 weeks old pregnancy and from the result that we see, that was twins actually. But because of the accident, she lost them. Her womb is fine, but because of the hit, she lost them and made one of her ovarium damage. The damage ovarioum made her lost a lot of blood and I am sorry to said that we have to take it, for the shake of your wife. Look at your wife condition, actually the ovarium that we took is the best one, the other ovarium not in the good condition. So I am sorry but I have to say this, your wife only have 30 percent possibility to have a child again. I didn't said she can not, but the possibility is so small. But I believe because both of you still young, there is still opportunity to have a child again. We never know what God's plan for us. I hope you can accepted her condition now. The one that she need is support from her closest people, especially you, as her husband." The doctor said
"We also monitoring her head trauma. From our observation she got mild concussion, hope she didn't get amnesia. We will place her at ordinary room, right after We think she is stable enough." the neurologist.
"Jung Su-ssi, are you oke? I am really hope that you can support your wife through this. Her physical injury maybe can be recover soon, but please take care of mental injury. It will be hard for her when she found out that her possibility to have another child is small." the Doctor tried to incourage him
"Thank you Doc. Thank you very much because you can save my wife life. I will be the happy man if I can have a child of my own, but the happiest things in my life is she's next to me until the day I die. Once again thank you. I know this is shocked, but I'll try to be strong, so I can support her. If there's nothing else, can I excude myself?" Leeteuk tried so hard to hold his tears and smiled to them
"Yes, Jung Su-ssi. I think it's all. Once again, please support her, she needs support now, especially from you as her husband." the doctor tried to smile while opened the door for him


After hearing what the Doctors said, Leeteuk walked slowly to the Intensive Room. He needs time to think and cry. He blamed himself for can not taking care of her well.

Their family were still waiting outside the Intensive Room. Without talked to anyone, Leeteuk walked into the Intensive room, and sat beside Sora's bad

"Princess, please wake up..Princess.. You hear me right...Please wake up..Please.. don't leave me..I need you so much.." Leeteuk cried and kiss her palm
"You know, even We're on the worst condition, please hang up, don't give up. Oke, promise?" Leeteuk still talked to Sora although he knews she can not responed, but he hope Sora still can hear what he said
"I will be the happiest man in the world if you are stay beside me until one of us die. I promised you, I will never let you go and I will never leave you, so please my Baby Princess wake up soon. I need you." Leeteuk whispering in her ears
"I know you can hear me darling.. Please trust me Oke. And I am so sorry if I can understand you well during this time. I swear.. I will try to more understand you started now. Just stay darling.. stay with me." He keeps talking while crying
Leeteuk was inside around 30 minutes. He finally go out after the nurse asked him to go and let Sora take same rest.

"Can I hold a family meeting now? Where's the best place, so I can talk freely?" Leeteuk asked his members
"Just took an east hospital park Hyung. It's quite there and there is a small cafe, so you can talk there. Me and Dong Hae will guarding the access to that cafe." Eunhyuk told him
"Yes Hyung, the rest of us will stay here. Just take your time. I will call all of you if there's something important." Kang In told him
"Thanks guys. I really owe you all a lot. Now, let's go Moms, Father and you too Nunna. There's something so important that I have to tell you." Leeteuk asked all of his family members

"I will tell you guys, straight to the points." Leeteuk told them right after they sit at the hospital cafe
"The Doctor already told me Sora's condition. This is not a good condition, but for me, I am still thankful."
"What's wrong Jung Su-ah. You made me worried" Sora's father told him
"Because of this accident, she lost the babies. And not only the babies, but she also lost one of her ovarium. The chance for her to have another child is small, let say only 30 percent, but I will not let her go. I won't leave her, although maybe one of you will asked me to do that, so I can have children of my own. I love her so much, she is the only one that I need until the day I die. So I beg all of you, never asked me to leave her. She needs me, like I need her. I hope you guys understand." Leeteuk told them clearly
"Oh My Good Sora-ya.. Why this is happened to you." Sora's mother can not hide her tears, after hearing what happened to her only daughter
"Jung Su-ah, I am so proud of you. Thank you for being you my son. I am oke with the condition. Sora is the one who made you better, so for me, as long as you became a better person I will be happy." His mother smiled, hugs him and remove the tears from his cheeck
"Jung Su-ah, just support her oke. She needs you a lot now." In Young also hugs him
"I think, we have to come back to Sora now." Leeteuk told them. Suddenly Sora's father called him

"Park Jung Su, can we talk privately? Just you and me." Sora's father asked them to stay
"Oke Father. Moms, I think it will be better if both of you back to waiting room, I am afraid when Sora needs something, there's no family members there. Leeteuk tried to persuade them

"Jung Su-ah, are you sure with what you just said? Honestly, I am happy to hear that, but as a man, a normal man who get merried to build his own family, did you really oke with this condition? I just don't want to see Sora suffering after you realize that you need a child, especially to be your successor, then leave her when she really depend on you. You know that she is my everything, my only daughter. I just don't wanna see her hurt." Sora's father told him and he also cry. 
"Father, you know me right? I am the one who made the decision to take one of her ovarium. I took that risk because I can not loose her, I can't father. I can't live without her. About children, that is oke. I will be happy if God still gave us a chance to have our own children, but I am the happiest man in the world If I can spend the rest of my life with her. Please trust me Father. Please trust me." Leeteuk told while holding his father in law's hand.
"Thank you Jung Su.. Thank you very much..Please take care of her. The only things she need right now only you, no one else. Once again thank you Jung Su." Sora's father told him then hugs him tight.

(**to be continued**)

by Gordon Matthew Thomas Sumner

If blood will flow when flesh and steel are one
Drying in the color of the evening sun
Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay

Perhaps this final act was meant
To clinch a lifetime's argument
That nothing comes from violence and nothing ever could

For all those born beneath an angry star
Lest we forget how fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star
Like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say
How fragile we are
How fragile we are

On and on the rain will fall
Like tears from a star
Like tears from a star
On and on the rain will say

How fragile we are
How fragile we are
How fragile we are
How fragile we are